No Mas, Chica Stupida

I should have known better. Most of me did know better. Fact is, I tend to ignore the logical portion of my brain when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm 21 years old and divorced, you'd think I would have figured out that emotions are silly things to bet a vital organ on, particularly one's heart. So, I sit here irritated and tired, anxious and frustrated and wonder what is going to kick me in the ass next. I hate love, but my heart is obsessed with the idea. I'm not happy alone, but I can't trust anyone either. I'm alone even when I'm not. I sound cocky saying it, but there are several guys that have made it clear that they're interested in seeing me, and frankly, I don't want anything to do with it all. I love going out and spending time with people, love having guy friends to curl up and watch movies with, but I don't trust a man as far as I could throw his dismembered member, so it's silly of me to entertain any amount of hope when it comes to dating. I'd love to use the word romance, but I'm not in the habit of using words I don't know the meaning of. My friend Lowe opened the car door for me today and I thought he was opening it up to but the bag he was carrying in the back of the car. No, I'm not kidding. I can't recall the last time someone did that for me. Flowers? Aren't those the big fluffy things with stems I see on my way out of walmart? I'm tired of it. I don't want a fairy tale at all... Thats the last thing I want. I want something REAL. I want someone to prove to me they can be there for me through the hard times and still have the motivation to go the extra mile to show me I'm still special to them and I'm still a lady. I'm bitter and I'm cynical and I'm very angry. Irritated no longer covers it. I'm not a piece of ass, I'm not anyone's bitch or whore, my place is not in the kitchen or the bedroom and I am no one's property. I'm so tired of this BULLSHIT!