Friday, December 21, 2007
4:40 PM - Boots Cost Money! Boots Cost Money!
Current mood: focused
I'm wired for sound today. I've spent too much time on the net (does this surprise ANYONE?) and eaten entirely too much chocolate- and no, I didn't think that was possible, either. Sugar high! I keep thinking about how I end up as one of the guys so often. It's weird for me sometimes. I absolutely *LVE* having so many male friends, as I would much rather have cool guys to chill with than be one of those prissy bitches, but it gets a little tedious sometimes hearing all the guys talk about what female they like and shit, cuz it's like hell-o, I'm a woman too. I don't know, random gripe, I guess, as I'd never in a million years give up my 'one of the guys' status to be looked at as female. I love being who I am, I love being a tough bitch and doing all the shit that everyone says I can't do because I'm female. I love proving them all wrong, and helping the males with their rifles and fixing the shit they fuck up. It's always amusing to hear someone say 'A FEMALE helped you with that?!' That makes me laugh every time. I'm not butch, I'm not masculine, but, shit, I'm in the US Army. I didn't join to be some prissy bitch, I joined to be a fucking soldier. I don't earn respect based on my looks or manners, I earn respect the same fucking way every other (decent) soldier does- by working hard and being respectful. I'm not the most popular person at basic, but I do my damndest to take care of my battle buddies and complete the mission. I don't need to be popular or hot or lady-like to be a good soldier. Frankly, being a soldier is more important to me than being a lady. Ladies can get walked on, soldiers- well, you walk on us, you'll never forget doing it, that's for damned sure. HOOAH.
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12:07 AM - Warrior Princess
Current mood: strong
So, life keeps rolling in this world, and I laugh a lot more than I used to. If I were only to be grateful for one thing, it would be for the Army showing me that it truly is all small stuff. The things I used to stress over are ridiculous things to sweat.. This world is a beautiful place, and this life is something to appreciate, not to worry over. We have far less control over our own existence than we like to think. It's odd that we try so hard to control all those things we have no means of controlling, yet our attitudes towards life and all that surrounds us- one of those few things we have control over- we don't try to control, but let the rest of the world dictate. I can make the choice to be happy and enjoy the day, why would I want to choose to be miserable because it's raining or because someone else has chosen to be in a lousy mood? There's people all over the world that are perfectly content though their lives are much harder than my own, I try not to lose my perspective.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
SQUARE
Saturday, December 22, 2007
8:19 PM - Square
Current mood: accomplished
Life is what happens when you're making other plans. I know I say this quite frequently, and I probably have half a dozen other blogs that have that line in them, but it strikes me often how true that is. Chaos and confusion wrack my brain frequently, but I've finally realized what I've been telling everyone else all along- if it can't be controlled, it shouldn't be worried about. What's the point? I don't understand what I should be doing or how things will go, which makes me worry, but I'd rather enjoy the moment I live in than to lose this moment because I'm so busy fearing the next. If I can hold on to that frame of mind I will be much better off! Today was not the easiest of days, not by far, but I held my tongue when it was required of me, I kept my patience and military bearing, and rolled on. I accomplished a few things I needed to do, and had some fun. It was not an easy day, but it was a good day. I find myself still learning to balance the many aspects of my own personality- the hard with the soft, the loud with the quiet- and that keeps the challenges coming. I've thought a great deal of my Native blood recently, and have tried to find ways to remind myself of all that those blood lines represent to me. Discipline, pride, loyalty, strength... I know it's not exceptionally apparent to most that I have Native American blood, though some recognize it, but it is what I feel most strongly connected to. I tell people sometimes I am 'half cowboy and half indian' as I am a mutt when it comes to blood. My gypsy and native blood are what drive me most, and I like to think that the qualities those people represent in my mind are those I demonstrate most, though who really knows what another sees. My patience has been tested today, as it is most days in one form or another, yet I kept it together. I am proud of myself for how far I have come, and know that I will not stop here. I will continue climbing these mountains until there are no more mountains to climb.
8:19 PM - Square
Current mood: accomplished
Life is what happens when you're making other plans. I know I say this quite frequently, and I probably have half a dozen other blogs that have that line in them, but it strikes me often how true that is. Chaos and confusion wrack my brain frequently, but I've finally realized what I've been telling everyone else all along- if it can't be controlled, it shouldn't be worried about. What's the point? I don't understand what I should be doing or how things will go, which makes me worry, but I'd rather enjoy the moment I live in than to lose this moment because I'm so busy fearing the next. If I can hold on to that frame of mind I will be much better off! Today was not the easiest of days, not by far, but I held my tongue when it was required of me, I kept my patience and military bearing, and rolled on. I accomplished a few things I needed to do, and had some fun. It was not an easy day, but it was a good day. I find myself still learning to balance the many aspects of my own personality- the hard with the soft, the loud with the quiet- and that keeps the challenges coming. I've thought a great deal of my Native blood recently, and have tried to find ways to remind myself of all that those blood lines represent to me. Discipline, pride, loyalty, strength... I know it's not exceptionally apparent to most that I have Native American blood, though some recognize it, but it is what I feel most strongly connected to. I tell people sometimes I am 'half cowboy and half indian' as I am a mutt when it comes to blood. My gypsy and native blood are what drive me most, and I like to think that the qualities those people represent in my mind are those I demonstrate most, though who really knows what another sees. My patience has been tested today, as it is most days in one form or another, yet I kept it together. I am proud of myself for how far I have come, and know that I will not stop here. I will continue climbing these mountains until there are no more mountains to climb.
MY BATTLE BUDDIES
Sunday, December 23, 2007
11:21 PM - My Battle Buddies
Current mood: calm
Once you've entered basic training, I imagine you never can forget the day you got off the bus with drill sergeants all around you screaming. I'll be amazed if that shit could be removed from my brain with a frikkin lazer! DS Askins on my left and DS Jones on my right and my patrol cap being knocked clear off my head... This is my second cycle in basic training because I got injured on my first go-round. I'm still a bulldog, and I'm still proud of my company and my leadership. What I have come to realize, though, is that my battle buddies have always been the ones to make it or break it for me. I've been fortunate to encounter as many amazing people as I have through my military life. I knew going into this that the military was a family, but it's not something you can ever be prepared for. My first cycle, there were a few people I connected with and am truly blessed to know. This cycle, I have found a group of people I know in my heart I was meant to meet. I have never gotten along with females very well, and I have found two that I think are among the best and brightest women I've ever met, and both are truly soldiers. Naturally, many of my male battle buddies have proved wonderful, and I am proud to have proven myself amongst the soldiers in our company, rather than simply being another female going through basic training. Not everyone agrees with my way of handling people, or my way of completing the mission, but I doubt too many would question my work ethic. I work hard, and stand by any battle buddy that is willing to do the same. I am happy that there are a large number of those soldiers in my company, and especially my platoon. You fight for you country, but you die for your friends. I can't remember where I heard that or read it, but it's the absolute truth. I will defend the hell out of the United States of America, but it's the people I would die for. I have some amazing battle buddies, and I want to thank all of you for standing by me, and for not giving up when the shit gets thick. HOOAH! "Someday you'll be alone, all alone in a combat zone. Don't you worry about being alone, your battle buddy will bring you home..."
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11:21 PM - My Battle Buddies
Current mood: calm
Once you've entered basic training, I imagine you never can forget the day you got off the bus with drill sergeants all around you screaming. I'll be amazed if that shit could be removed from my brain with a frikkin lazer! DS Askins on my left and DS Jones on my right and my patrol cap being knocked clear off my head... This is my second cycle in basic training because I got injured on my first go-round. I'm still a bulldog, and I'm still proud of my company and my leadership. What I have come to realize, though, is that my battle buddies have always been the ones to make it or break it for me. I've been fortunate to encounter as many amazing people as I have through my military life. I knew going into this that the military was a family, but it's not something you can ever be prepared for. My first cycle, there were a few people I connected with and am truly blessed to know. This cycle, I have found a group of people I know in my heart I was meant to meet. I have never gotten along with females very well, and I have found two that I think are among the best and brightest women I've ever met, and both are truly soldiers. Naturally, many of my male battle buddies have proved wonderful, and I am proud to have proven myself amongst the soldiers in our company, rather than simply being another female going through basic training. Not everyone agrees with my way of handling people, or my way of completing the mission, but I doubt too many would question my work ethic. I work hard, and stand by any battle buddy that is willing to do the same. I am happy that there are a large number of those soldiers in my company, and especially my platoon. You fight for you country, but you die for your friends. I can't remember where I heard that or read it, but it's the absolute truth. I will defend the hell out of the United States of America, but it's the people I would die for. I have some amazing battle buddies, and I want to thank all of you for standing by me, and for not giving up when the shit gets thick. HOOAH! "Someday you'll be alone, all alone in a combat zone. Don't you worry about being alone, your battle buddy will bring you home..."
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ROMANCE
Monday, December 24, 2007
7:31 PM - Romance
Current mood: romantic
Someone once told me that we each get occasional and brief opportunities to peer into our future and to catch a glimpse of what it is that's meant for us, if only to be reminded of what it is we should be looking for. I have had a tendency to take the easy path in certain aspects of my life, and to dismiss those glimpses in favor of what comes simply. I believe that luxury may have just hit a roadblock. Here's a quote from a rather intelligent friend of mine- "Never trust a man who can look a pretty woman in the eye. He'll tell her the truth, and she'll fall for it." Now, I don't know if that springs from another source, or from himself, but I must say I like it very much. I wonder if I have not just taken a glimpse into the future, and had a taste, if only a passing one, of what it is I should be striving for. Odd, isn't it?
7:31 PM - Romance
Current mood: romantic
Someone once told me that we each get occasional and brief opportunities to peer into our future and to catch a glimpse of what it is that's meant for us, if only to be reminded of what it is we should be looking for. I have had a tendency to take the easy path in certain aspects of my life, and to dismiss those glimpses in favor of what comes simply. I believe that luxury may have just hit a roadblock. Here's a quote from a rather intelligent friend of mine- "Never trust a man who can look a pretty woman in the eye. He'll tell her the truth, and she'll fall for it." Now, I don't know if that springs from another source, or from himself, but I must say I like it very much. I wonder if I have not just taken a glimpse into the future, and had a taste, if only a passing one, of what it is I should be striving for. Odd, isn't it?
INTEGRITY
27dec07
1:36 AM - Have Some Fucking Integrity
Current mood: aggravated
I don't understand what's so difficult about honesty, or being straight forward. I don't see what's so goddamned difficult about being a fucking man. Simple Army values would help a good many of you with certain reproductive organs a great fucking deal. LOYALTY DUTY RESPECT SELFLESS SERVICE HONOR INTEGRITY AND PERSONAL COURAGE. Didn't anyone mention to you assholes that those qualities should be applied to your personal affairs as well? You're not only a soldier when you're in your uniform or on post or when someone higher-ranking is looking. I was always amazed at how often I heard women talk shit about military men, and heard how awful they were to their women, and, if it weren't for men like my former roomate, I'd have to be forced to agree at this point. I see so much of what other women don't. I'm so practiced at noticing deceit or potential problems within the men that show interest in me, and yet I miss some serious amount of shit. How the fuck do I manage this shit and WHY don't you men grow some fucking cajones?! The next time someone asks me how I can have 900 guy friends and not one prospective date, I may very well have an excellent example to pull up. Maybe it's just karma. I mean, really, where do I have a place to bitch? I've hurt people too... Maybe I still am... Who fucking knows.
1:36 AM - Have Some Fucking Integrity
Current mood: aggravated
I don't understand what's so difficult about honesty, or being straight forward. I don't see what's so goddamned difficult about being a fucking man. Simple Army values would help a good many of you with certain reproductive organs a great fucking deal. LOYALTY DUTY RESPECT SELFLESS SERVICE HONOR INTEGRITY AND PERSONAL COURAGE. Didn't anyone mention to you assholes that those qualities should be applied to your personal affairs as well? You're not only a soldier when you're in your uniform or on post or when someone higher-ranking is looking. I was always amazed at how often I heard women talk shit about military men, and heard how awful they were to their women, and, if it weren't for men like my former roomate, I'd have to be forced to agree at this point. I see so much of what other women don't. I'm so practiced at noticing deceit or potential problems within the men that show interest in me, and yet I miss some serious amount of shit. How the fuck do I manage this shit and WHY don't you men grow some fucking cajones?! The next time someone asks me how I can have 900 guy friends and not one prospective date, I may very well have an excellent example to pull up. Maybe it's just karma. I mean, really, where do I have a place to bitch? I've hurt people too... Maybe I still am... Who fucking knows.
My Favorite Quote
6:07 AM - My favorite quote
Current mood: cynical
"And JR wept because there were no more worlds to conquer. All she had left was love and death." -AFM
IN THE MIDST OF NIGHT
28DEC07
1:50 AM - In The Midst Of Night
Current mood: aggravated
Under the cover of darkness, her emotions were her own, her frustrations unshared, undivided and unconquered. She'd woken from a relatively peaceful sleep to think of the pains of her past and frustrations she couldn't avoid in the present. It irritated her in a way she couldn't explain that she'd been unable to shake thoughts of love in recent days. She'd been doing so well on her own since her heart had broken nearly a year before, why should she be wanting for love now? She was healing, she could see, quite well. They hadn't been wrong when they told her all it would take was time, of course. She was a stronger, better woman than she had ever been before. She had experienced a few brief encounters of what might have been something more, perhaps, in another place, at another time. Despite knowing for certain that both chivalry and romance were hopeless creations of the mind and little else, some part of her mind clung to the concepts. She'd thought she'd found a fairy tale once upon a time, but Cinderella had taken that last bit of Happily Ever After with her to Prince Charming's castle, the selfish bitch. Clearly, the two never reproduced, as Prince Charming's bloodlines had obviously ceased to exist quite some time ago now. What was it that kept the far corners of her mind clinging to that last thread of hope? She could be the tough girl so much of the time, and so few noticed that shadow of vulnerability that followed her, rather, she thought, like an exceptionally persistant plague. At least most plagues had the mercy to put their captors to their death after a certain amount of suffering. If only she could rid herself of that last remaining bit of the curse...
1:50 AM - In The Midst Of Night
Current mood: aggravated
Under the cover of darkness, her emotions were her own, her frustrations unshared, undivided and unconquered. She'd woken from a relatively peaceful sleep to think of the pains of her past and frustrations she couldn't avoid in the present. It irritated her in a way she couldn't explain that she'd been unable to shake thoughts of love in recent days. She'd been doing so well on her own since her heart had broken nearly a year before, why should she be wanting for love now? She was healing, she could see, quite well. They hadn't been wrong when they told her all it would take was time, of course. She was a stronger, better woman than she had ever been before. She had experienced a few brief encounters of what might have been something more, perhaps, in another place, at another time. Despite knowing for certain that both chivalry and romance were hopeless creations of the mind and little else, some part of her mind clung to the concepts. She'd thought she'd found a fairy tale once upon a time, but Cinderella had taken that last bit of Happily Ever After with her to Prince Charming's castle, the selfish bitch. Clearly, the two never reproduced, as Prince Charming's bloodlines had obviously ceased to exist quite some time ago now. What was it that kept the far corners of her mind clinging to that last thread of hope? She could be the tough girl so much of the time, and so few noticed that shadow of vulnerability that followed her, rather, she thought, like an exceptionally persistant plague. At least most plagues had the mercy to put their captors to their death after a certain amount of suffering. If only she could rid herself of that last remaining bit of the curse...
ADDICTED TO THE PUNISHMENT
Friday, December 28, 2007
1:38 AM - Addicted To The Punishment
Current mood: annoyed
I don't know what it is that keeps my mind clinging to bits of the past. I don't know why I am unable to exorcise the demons that haunt me completely. There's things I've gotten past that I never thought I would, obstacles I've overcome that I once, not so long ago, thought insurmountable. Yet there's those sparse and sporradic things that I can't seem to shake no matter how hard I try. Why is it I find myself seeking out information on those who have done the most irreparable damage to my soul? So many things I don't understand. I found myself, not so long ago, quite certain I was falling for a man with perhaps the thickest, tallest and most impenitrable emotional walls I have yet encountered. Why would I open myself to such a person? I make no sense even to myself, perhaps especially to myself, sometimes. I've heard the phrase 'glutton for punishment' but, damn. I know that road far too well. What is it that brings me back to that type of person? There's no logic to it, really. Perhaps knowing romance and chivalry are dead in every way but theory makes me go to the opposite extreme? Who fucking knows. People are such simple creatures to handle, truly, until your own emotions become involved, then you're fucked. I've come to understand my childhood fascination with wolves. Wolves are far more loyal, not to mention civilized, than humans, they mate for life and don't insist upon torturing one another. People are often surprised when I say I could kill a human before an animal. Animals are free from sin, free from that demented illness humans mistake for intelligence in their own kind. Truly, we're a sick and twisted species. For so long we've considered ourselves superior that we've come to see our own species as without fault. Personally, I wouldn't trust an individual who thought himself without fault, thus I have a hard time of trusting an individual species that thinks such of itself. I've killed two animals in my life larger than an insect, a bird and a cat, and both were in great amounts of pain and incapable of survival, or even voluntary movement. Perhaps they weren't feeling pain anymore, I suppose I can't truly be sure. The cat, a long-haired tabby, had been hit by a vehicle and was seizing by the side of the road, with multiple obvious and severe injuries. The bird was a small thing, a chickadee, and had fallen from it's nest or some other height, and was twitching a bit, and it's eyes were open and moving about, but it wasn't clear how much of that was voluntary. It's a frightening feeling, taking a life. It's a disturbing sense of power, even done for the right reasons. Mercy is one of those few reasons for killing the mind can come to terms with, at least partially, I think. How did I get this far off the original subject? Well, a rant is a rant. Beauty is a fucked up concept, isn't it? It's so individual and personal, yet we, as humans, try to commercialize it. Every human being has a different view on what is attractive or beautiful, and yet we have to have this mainstream definition of it. Why? So we can harrass others over their concept? What I find attractive, even my closest friends may very well disagree with. Why do we need to conform so much to the mainstream? Why are men that like women with more curves treated so poorly? Why are women who like toothpick skinny or shorter men looked down upon? People are fucked up creatures!!
1:38 AM - Addicted To The Punishment
Current mood: annoyed
I don't know what it is that keeps my mind clinging to bits of the past. I don't know why I am unable to exorcise the demons that haunt me completely. There's things I've gotten past that I never thought I would, obstacles I've overcome that I once, not so long ago, thought insurmountable. Yet there's those sparse and sporradic things that I can't seem to shake no matter how hard I try. Why is it I find myself seeking out information on those who have done the most irreparable damage to my soul? So many things I don't understand. I found myself, not so long ago, quite certain I was falling for a man with perhaps the thickest, tallest and most impenitrable emotional walls I have yet encountered. Why would I open myself to such a person? I make no sense even to myself, perhaps especially to myself, sometimes. I've heard the phrase 'glutton for punishment' but, damn. I know that road far too well. What is it that brings me back to that type of person? There's no logic to it, really. Perhaps knowing romance and chivalry are dead in every way but theory makes me go to the opposite extreme? Who fucking knows. People are such simple creatures to handle, truly, until your own emotions become involved, then you're fucked. I've come to understand my childhood fascination with wolves. Wolves are far more loyal, not to mention civilized, than humans, they mate for life and don't insist upon torturing one another. People are often surprised when I say I could kill a human before an animal. Animals are free from sin, free from that demented illness humans mistake for intelligence in their own kind. Truly, we're a sick and twisted species. For so long we've considered ourselves superior that we've come to see our own species as without fault. Personally, I wouldn't trust an individual who thought himself without fault, thus I have a hard time of trusting an individual species that thinks such of itself. I've killed two animals in my life larger than an insect, a bird and a cat, and both were in great amounts of pain and incapable of survival, or even voluntary movement. Perhaps they weren't feeling pain anymore, I suppose I can't truly be sure. The cat, a long-haired tabby, had been hit by a vehicle and was seizing by the side of the road, with multiple obvious and severe injuries. The bird was a small thing, a chickadee, and had fallen from it's nest or some other height, and was twitching a bit, and it's eyes were open and moving about, but it wasn't clear how much of that was voluntary. It's a frightening feeling, taking a life. It's a disturbing sense of power, even done for the right reasons. Mercy is one of those few reasons for killing the mind can come to terms with, at least partially, I think. How did I get this far off the original subject? Well, a rant is a rant. Beauty is a fucked up concept, isn't it? It's so individual and personal, yet we, as humans, try to commercialize it. Every human being has a different view on what is attractive or beautiful, and yet we have to have this mainstream definition of it. Why? So we can harrass others over their concept? What I find attractive, even my closest friends may very well disagree with. Why do we need to conform so much to the mainstream? Why are men that like women with more curves treated so poorly? Why are women who like toothpick skinny or shorter men looked down upon? People are fucked up creatures!!
In Review
So, I've decided to bring some of my more interesting blog entries from myspace over here. Many of the blogs to follow will be of that genre.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Smile
"And JR wept because there were no more worlds to conquer. All she had left was love and death." -AFM
"i just got home and i started reading all your blogs in my appenion (even though it dosn't matter) i thank you should have wrote a book because you seem like you have a lot on your mind to say and what i have seen so far really catches my eye your good girl i am new to this my space stuff i never have been much of a computer stuff but you got some real shit on your mind thanks because you got me thankin i have a few family members over seas in iraq and i have sent them some messages regarding what you have wrote i hope you dont mid my brotherin-law likes your page too" -cory
There are always a few moments here n there that make me smile more than others. I suppose today has just been an exceptionally good day, but, regardless, there are things that are sticking in my brain today. The first quote is a line that a friend of mine said, referring to me. It was far too appropriate to ignore. The latter is a copy-n-pasted email someone I was randomly talking to on My Space wrote to me. It was extremely flattering!!! I can't say that I entirely agree with it, but I'm thrilled someone feels that way. I write a lot, though few people bother to read any of it.
My heart is truly my worst enemy. I can't trust it, as it chooses very quickly what not to see. It is the only thing that can blind me. I'm tired of being blinded to details when I meet someone that could be great, because those damned details are always the part that screws it all up- like he has a girlfriend he wasn't telling me about. Attention to detail, JR, attention to detail!!
"i just got home and i started reading all your blogs in my appenion (even though it dosn't matter) i thank you should have wrote a book because you seem like you have a lot on your mind to say and what i have seen so far really catches my eye your good girl i am new to this my space stuff i never have been much of a computer stuff but you got some real shit on your mind thanks because you got me thankin i have a few family members over seas in iraq and i have sent them some messages regarding what you have wrote i hope you dont mid my brotherin-law likes your page too" -cory
There are always a few moments here n there that make me smile more than others. I suppose today has just been an exceptionally good day, but, regardless, there are things that are sticking in my brain today. The first quote is a line that a friend of mine said, referring to me. It was far too appropriate to ignore. The latter is a copy-n-pasted email someone I was randomly talking to on My Space wrote to me. It was extremely flattering!!! I can't say that I entirely agree with it, but I'm thrilled someone feels that way. I write a lot, though few people bother to read any of it.
My heart is truly my worst enemy. I can't trust it, as it chooses very quickly what not to see. It is the only thing that can blind me. I'm tired of being blinded to details when I meet someone that could be great, because those damned details are always the part that screws it all up- like he has a girlfriend he wasn't telling me about. Attention to detail, JR, attention to detail!!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Romance And Enigmatic Eloquence
It's always odd to me when so much realization falls together at one particular moment. I've heard theories that we get the opportunity to glimpse our future very occasionally and very briefly, if only to refocus our souls. To be totally honest, I'd never given much thought to the theory, nor could I understand how that might come about. That changed tonight. I've had a habit of settling in the romance department, of taking what is presented to me, the easy road, I suppose. I have kept in touch with a friend of mine from training, and e-mails have been exchanged. There's been nothing particularly flirtatious or innappropriate in these emails at any point. I've found this particular man- soldier- to be quite intelligent and interesting, as well as being a hard worker. I have a great deal of respect for him. Tonight, I opened an email from him, and read his telling of a few particularly strong memories he had from his childhood. The stories themselves were interesting, but the manner in which he described them captivated me. The only term I can think to use for it, even now, is a sense of romance. There was nothing even remotely sweet or delicate or Valentine's-Day-like at all about these stories; they were stories of death and fear. The vivid and sensitive details were what gave it the sense of romance, as though it was a paraphrase from a classic novel. It was then that I realized that it was someone with that attention to detail, that receptivity that I needed in my life, and that anything less would be settling. I spoke to him tonight, as well, and realized still more that he had an acute awareness I was ignorant of, and that he'd caught the depth in moments I was sure any human with male organs was doomed to miss. I know better than to presume that this particular man is "The One" but he surely has made me see that there is hope out there for my heart. Just earlier I was wondering what was wrong with me that my heart could not stop wandering so. Perhaps it simply hasn't found it's destination...
Monday, December 24, 2007
Positively
I'm on Holiday Block Leave aka Christmas Exodus from Basic Combat training. I'm staying with a friend in Ohio until I return to Basic on January 3rd. I'm doing incredibly well. Life seems to have finally accepted I will conquer anything it hands out. I love being in the US Army, and I love training. I have some truly amazing battle buddies, and feel that joining the Army is the best choice I ever made. I'm in amazing shape, and I feel great. I'm extremely proud of myself. I have come an incredibly long way from where I was even just a year ago. I will graduate from basic in February, and will do so with an amount of pride unequaled. I am becoming a leader, though all I set out to do was meet the standard. I am proving everyone who ever doubted me wrong and then some. I am not just a female making it through basic training, I am a soldier and am shining as such. Plenty of people assume that I can't or won't work as hard as a male or that I believe I should be treated differently because of my gender. My biggest goal is to prove them all wrong in every way possible. I've experienced the gas chamber twice, and I've stuck IV's twice. I've done whatever was asked of me. I've completed every mission I've been assigned, and was still the first to volunteer when they called. I am proud and I am thankful and I will never look back.
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