You Are Wild Herb Stuffing Soda |
 |
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
tattoo you
You Should Get an Abstract Tattoo |
 Artistic and unique You're the most likely type to personally design your tattoo |
RAWR!
Your Superpower Should Be Super Strength |
 You're tough, stubborn, and strong in both mind and body. You are able to survive almost anything... And you don't come out worse for the wear. Your power is evident - and unsurprisingly, you're pretty intimidating! Why you would be a good superhero: No one could match you in hand to hand combat Your biggest problem as a superhero: Actually getting supervillains to show up to fight |
Flighty
Not sure how these qualities apply to a vulture...
Your Power Bird is a Vulture |
 You are always changing your life and the lives of those around you. You aren't afraid to move on from what holds you back. Energetic and powerful, you have a nearly unlimited capacity for success. You know how to "go with the flow" and take advantage of what is given to you. |
Poet
You Should Be a Poet |
 You have a way with words... and a talent for drawing the pure emotions out of experiences. Your poetry has the potential to make people laugh and cry at the same time. You just need to write it! |
Ani
You Are Ani Difranco! |
 Honest, real, and well liked. You're not limited by any boundaries. "And you can call me crazy But I think you're as lazy as white paint on the wall" |
brain drain
Your Brain's Pattern |
 Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama. Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time... But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you. You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading. |
hm
You are a Great Girlfriend |
 When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too! |
Friendship
You Are A Good Friend |
 You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"! |
Zzzzz
What Your Sleeping Position Says |
 You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life. Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself. If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog |
I wish
Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl |
 You're the girl that everyone is trying to figure out. Men are attracted to your intriguing persona - and women want to copy it! |
feminist
You Are 98% Feminist |
 You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action. |
kiss kiss
Your Kissing Grade: A |
 You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing. Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible. Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you! |
wild thing
You Are a Wild Woman |
 Sky diving on the first date? Why not? You're up for almost anything, and that's what guys love about you. You don't back down from challenges, and you love to challenge others. You're so wild it's a little scary, but that's usually a good thing! |
HA!
Your Quirk Factor: 56% |
 You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it. Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them! |
Sensitive?
Guys Like That You're Sensitive |
 And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships! |
Roses
Your Love Is Represented By a Red Rose |
 You love passionately and fully, without any reservations. And while romantic love comes easily for you, you also love many people platonically. You are a true romantic, and you always can see the best in people. |
Love Style
Your Love Style is Agape |
 You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrifice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
Strong Just Like You Prayed I'd Be
Not everyone will yell at me when I cry. There are actually men out there that will just put their arms around me and hold me while I cry, even if they have no idea why I am crying, or we have things we should be getting accomplished. Not everyone will lose their temper when I lose mine. Not everyone will tell me the things they think are wrong with me. Not everyone feels the need to find fault in the world around them. I don't need a relationship. I don't need to depend on anyone. I can do anything. Getting in a relationship that isn't right is far worse than being single and waiting for the right person.
How has it taken me this long to see these things?
My heart has found someone it seems to believe could be "right" for it, for me, for my life. He's everything I look for, yet the situation, on many levels, will not allow for that kind of beginning. What the future holds for the two of us, as always, remains to be seen. I could fall in love with him, it would be too easy. I won't let myself go there, though, I won't give in to my heart until/unless things get to the point where the situation, as well as the person, is right. Doing otherwise is opening myself up for heartache, and Hashem knows I've had enough of that to know I want to avoid it. There's a beautiful possibility and a whole lot of unknown before me. Even if this man is not one who will be in my life, or if he's not "the one", for lack of better term, there is nothing but possibilities for me now. I will not accept less than what I know is right, I've been doing that for too long, and I won't move backward, only forward. Onward ever, backward never. I am brave enough to handle all the world hands to me, and I know this now. There is nothing in this world I can't handle, even alone, if it is what I need to do.
How has it taken me this long to see these things?
My heart has found someone it seems to believe could be "right" for it, for me, for my life. He's everything I look for, yet the situation, on many levels, will not allow for that kind of beginning. What the future holds for the two of us, as always, remains to be seen. I could fall in love with him, it would be too easy. I won't let myself go there, though, I won't give in to my heart until/unless things get to the point where the situation, as well as the person, is right. Doing otherwise is opening myself up for heartache, and Hashem knows I've had enough of that to know I want to avoid it. There's a beautiful possibility and a whole lot of unknown before me. Even if this man is not one who will be in my life, or if he's not "the one", for lack of better term, there is nothing but possibilities for me now. I will not accept less than what I know is right, I've been doing that for too long, and I won't move backward, only forward. Onward ever, backward never. I am brave enough to handle all the world hands to me, and I know this now. There is nothing in this world I can't handle, even alone, if it is what I need to do.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Jaded Is Overrated: A New Beginning
1:01 AM - Jaded Is Overrated
Current mood: strong
My mind is floating right now. I'm not intoxicated in any way, just contemplative of the life I'm living, and both scared and eager to see where it leads me. I've been a soldier in the United States Army for a little over four months now, and will be completing only the earliest phase of my training in another month and a half. I've worked hard for that day, harder than many may be able to understand. It's not the only thing I've worked hard for, though. I have a very unique history, complicated and frustrating, even now. I have just truly begun to leave it all behind. My ex-husband, my childhood problems, my traumas, my weaknesses, those things are still only a couple steps behind me. Here I am, barely on the blessed side of New Years, staring down the barrel of a brand new year, a fresh start. I have my goals firmly planted inside my mind, and a large cache of faith that I've been working hard to store away for a rainy day. Truly, faith and a fresh start seem to be my best tools. Many times now, I have found myself in an unfamilar place, surrounded by people I don't know and who don't know me, wondering how I'll ever make it, but knowing without a doubt that I will find a way, no matter what it takes, because that's what I do. I don't give up. So, here I sit, preparing to return to the beginning of my military career, and wondering how I'll ever make it. I fear few things, but it is only natural for a human to fear the unknown. Whatever adventures I face, I will face alone, in a sense, but not. I don't know who, exactly, will be standing beside me when I get off the plane or bus at Ft. Sam Houston or who will be there when I arrive at my permanant duty station. I don't know who I will be fighting beside, who I will be healing when I get deployed for the first time. These are things I won't know until it happens. The thing is, whether or not I know who they are, those people that will be experiencing these things with me will be family. I have a loving family- my dad, mom and sister, not to mention various uncles, aunts, cousins and other assorted relatives, but never in my entire life have I experienced anything like the family I have within the Army. I have people calling me at 0330 because they need a friend, though they've known me barely more than a month. I can't imagine turning them away, or ignoring their call. These people are family beyond family. They are not my blood, but they are my kin. None of them were present at my birth, nor did they experience my childhood, teenage years, or any part of my life before August, and many not until November, but they are the people that stand up for me, look out for me, watch my back, and experience everything I do, even if it's not their problem. They are the people who listen to me late at night when I'm angry or miserable, or confused. These are the people who I share my good news, my bad news, my joys and frustrations with, and they will always understand and be there for me and with me. I don't know all the people that will go through the tough times with me, I can't possibly. Unknown Family, that's what they are. My heart is finally feeling peaceful. These last couple weeks have shown me that I have finally started fresh, truly, that I am finally healing from everything. I am not bitter, as I was for so long. I am sad when I look into the past, but I wouldn't be human if the loss of love didn't make me sad. I've done a great deal of introspection on the matter of my failed marriage, and realized a good many things. When I got married, I hadn't had time to fall in love with this man, I didn't know who he was, how can I say I loved him then? I was infatuated, surely, as much with the romance of the plan as the mystery and intensity of the man. I came to love him, though, and found security in our relationship, as unstable and rocky as it often was. He was my knight on the white horse, rushing in to rescue me from whatever dungeon or tower I'd managed to get myself locked away in. Problem is, I didn't know how to stand on my own, and we could never find balance between ourselves in many, many ways. I could never stand alone with him beside me, though I'm still not sure what caused that, exactly. I didn't know I could fly until I was thrown off the cliff. Here I am, though, soaring. I've hurt so much in the last ten plus months, I've been primarily alone, relationship-wise, through the majority of that. I've learned more in that time than I can begin to understand. I can't find it in my heart to be angry or jealous or frustrated, even, by all of it anymore. I'm moving on. My life has progressed so drastically since what I once thought of as the beginning of the end, it's amazing. I'm a woman I never thought I could be, that for a long time I was told I never could be. My dreams are coming true, even if it's not quite the way I had planned. I'm a soldier, and surely my other dreams will fall into place in due time. Some day I will fall in love again, someday I will get married again, someday I will have that family I've dreamt of for so long. I don't know when, I don't know where, hell, I'm not even sure how. Faith, this crazy, random, eclectic and wide-open faith in my heart, constantly reminds me that it's not me behind the steering wheel, and it's not my plans that count. I can't imagine being this person or this happy if my plans had worked out as I'd wanted. I'm proud of myself, I'm stronger than I've ever been, and my life, MY LIFE is just beginning. 2008 is the beginning of a new book, a new dream, a new life... There's nothing that can hold me down. And so it begins, through the eyes of me...
Current mood: strong
My mind is floating right now. I'm not intoxicated in any way, just contemplative of the life I'm living, and both scared and eager to see where it leads me. I've been a soldier in the United States Army for a little over four months now, and will be completing only the earliest phase of my training in another month and a half. I've worked hard for that day, harder than many may be able to understand. It's not the only thing I've worked hard for, though. I have a very unique history, complicated and frustrating, even now. I have just truly begun to leave it all behind. My ex-husband, my childhood problems, my traumas, my weaknesses, those things are still only a couple steps behind me. Here I am, barely on the blessed side of New Years, staring down the barrel of a brand new year, a fresh start. I have my goals firmly planted inside my mind, and a large cache of faith that I've been working hard to store away for a rainy day. Truly, faith and a fresh start seem to be my best tools. Many times now, I have found myself in an unfamilar place, surrounded by people I don't know and who don't know me, wondering how I'll ever make it, but knowing without a doubt that I will find a way, no matter what it takes, because that's what I do. I don't give up. So, here I sit, preparing to return to the beginning of my military career, and wondering how I'll ever make it. I fear few things, but it is only natural for a human to fear the unknown. Whatever adventures I face, I will face alone, in a sense, but not. I don't know who, exactly, will be standing beside me when I get off the plane or bus at Ft. Sam Houston or who will be there when I arrive at my permanant duty station. I don't know who I will be fighting beside, who I will be healing when I get deployed for the first time. These are things I won't know until it happens. The thing is, whether or not I know who they are, those people that will be experiencing these things with me will be family. I have a loving family- my dad, mom and sister, not to mention various uncles, aunts, cousins and other assorted relatives, but never in my entire life have I experienced anything like the family I have within the Army. I have people calling me at 0330 because they need a friend, though they've known me barely more than a month. I can't imagine turning them away, or ignoring their call. These people are family beyond family. They are not my blood, but they are my kin. None of them were present at my birth, nor did they experience my childhood, teenage years, or any part of my life before August, and many not until November, but they are the people that stand up for me, look out for me, watch my back, and experience everything I do, even if it's not their problem. They are the people who listen to me late at night when I'm angry or miserable, or confused. These are the people who I share my good news, my bad news, my joys and frustrations with, and they will always understand and be there for me and with me. I don't know all the people that will go through the tough times with me, I can't possibly. Unknown Family, that's what they are. My heart is finally feeling peaceful. These last couple weeks have shown me that I have finally started fresh, truly, that I am finally healing from everything. I am not bitter, as I was for so long. I am sad when I look into the past, but I wouldn't be human if the loss of love didn't make me sad. I've done a great deal of introspection on the matter of my failed marriage, and realized a good many things. When I got married, I hadn't had time to fall in love with this man, I didn't know who he was, how can I say I loved him then? I was infatuated, surely, as much with the romance of the plan as the mystery and intensity of the man. I came to love him, though, and found security in our relationship, as unstable and rocky as it often was. He was my knight on the white horse, rushing in to rescue me from whatever dungeon or tower I'd managed to get myself locked away in. Problem is, I didn't know how to stand on my own, and we could never find balance between ourselves in many, many ways. I could never stand alone with him beside me, though I'm still not sure what caused that, exactly. I didn't know I could fly until I was thrown off the cliff. Here I am, though, soaring. I've hurt so much in the last ten plus months, I've been primarily alone, relationship-wise, through the majority of that. I've learned more in that time than I can begin to understand. I can't find it in my heart to be angry or jealous or frustrated, even, by all of it anymore. I'm moving on. My life has progressed so drastically since what I once thought of as the beginning of the end, it's amazing. I'm a woman I never thought I could be, that for a long time I was told I never could be. My dreams are coming true, even if it's not quite the way I had planned. I'm a soldier, and surely my other dreams will fall into place in due time. Some day I will fall in love again, someday I will get married again, someday I will have that family I've dreamt of for so long. I don't know when, I don't know where, hell, I'm not even sure how. Faith, this crazy, random, eclectic and wide-open faith in my heart, constantly reminds me that it's not me behind the steering wheel, and it's not my plans that count. I can't imagine being this person or this happy if my plans had worked out as I'd wanted. I'm proud of myself, I'm stronger than I've ever been, and my life, MY LIFE is just beginning. 2008 is the beginning of a new book, a new dream, a new life... There's nothing that can hold me down. And so it begins, through the eyes of me...
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