Not everyone will yell at me when I cry. There are actually men out there that will just put their arms around me and hold me while I cry, even if they have no idea why I am crying, or we have things we should be getting accomplished. Not everyone will lose their temper when I lose mine. Not everyone will tell me the things they think are wrong with me. Not everyone feels the need to find fault in the world around them. I don't need a relationship. I don't need to depend on anyone. I can do anything. Getting in a relationship that isn't right is far worse than being single and waiting for the right person.
How has it taken me this long to see these things?
My heart has found someone it seems to believe could be "right" for it, for me, for my life. He's everything I look for, yet the situation, on many levels, will not allow for that kind of beginning. What the future holds for the two of us, as always, remains to be seen. I could fall in love with him, it would be too easy. I won't let myself go there, though, I won't give in to my heart until/unless things get to the point where the situation, as well as the person, is right. Doing otherwise is opening myself up for heartache, and Hashem knows I've had enough of that to know I want to avoid it. There's a beautiful possibility and a whole lot of unknown before me. Even if this man is not one who will be in my life, or if he's not "the one", for lack of better term, there is nothing but possibilities for me now. I will not accept less than what I know is right, I've been doing that for too long, and I won't move backward, only forward. Onward ever, backward never. I am brave enough to handle all the world hands to me, and I know this now. There is nothing in this world I can't handle, even alone, if it is what I need to do.
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