through the hoops!

Motherfucker. The next man I fall in love with needs to jump through some serious hoops. I wont EVER move for another man. I won't EVER give up something to be with someone. They will have to chase me, they will have to show me what Im worth to them. I'm sick and tired of falling and sacrificing and ending up alone yet again. Im done with that, if only because the next lover who breaks my heart may end up with something else broken. I'm drunk. I'm pissed. And I'm all. fucking. alone. Kiss my ass. No one reads this, I don't care. I've got no one to look out for me anymore, and I've only got myself. I will simply have to manage. I'm not happy with things, the things I want the most will never come. Love is grand, marriage is bullshit, and trust is for a select few who know better than to surrender to either. I just want someone to hold me, I dont want love, I dont want romance, I just dont want to feel so totally alone... I want someone to put their arms around me and tell me things will really be okay... But no one will, and maybe that's because it won't be okay... Im tired of this. Im tired of all of this... I just want to give up...