Storm

This was one of the hardest days I've had in quite some time. I won't go into details, because plenty of people already know, from my meltdowns, what's going on.
All I'll say at this point is that, for the immediate future, things are back on level ground.
I've got a lot to sort out for myself, and a lot of healing to do. I'm sorely disappointed that some of the people I not only expected to be supportive but trusted to be were not.
I feel like I'm starting over from day 1 of the healing process after these last few days, and, in some ways, I really am, I guess.
It was never more obvious than it was today that I've got a whole lot of hurt left in my heart. Until I was brought right back to the brink of being in danger again by people who are supposed to look out for me, I genuinely did not realize how much.
It feels like this crap has started affecting every part of my life again, like it did in the early days of the anxiety. I'd be lying if I said I'm looking forward to the next few weeks, because I know it'll be a while before the edges smooth back out again. I know I have folks back home who have my back and have seen me through the darker times, I just hope that the people I've come to trust here are that strong and that willing.
I'll survive this, if only to spite those bastards that continue to try to hold me down.