I was told early on in basic that I would never be the fastest or strongest, but that I definitely had the most heart.
The pain feels like a two way mirror- I can see the pain, and how it acts, but I never see my own face reflecting back during those actions. It feels like watching another person when I get like that.
I have so many problems. I have so many mountains left to climb, and so many battles to fight. It seems insane to me that someone who probably knows more about me and how I operate than almost anyone sees past all these issues, all my problems, and loves me anyway. When I feel like the biggest failure, the weakest person on the planet, it occurs to me that the toughest man I know loves me.
How can I be right about what I see in the mirror if this man loves me so damn much?
The two thoughts aren't compatible- and that seems to be a lifeline of sorts.
The amount of amazing stuff he wants to do for me- and believes I'm worth- astounds me.
He's not one to fall easily or accept less than what he wants.
I'm what he wants, and it's taken us nearly half a decade to come to this point.
I have to trust what he sees over what I see, sometimes.
I guess that's what love is all about, though, isn't it?
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