Astaria Rhiannon is the baby girl I lost so many years ago. She still haunts my dreams from time to time, but I know she is Mama's lil angel, so everything will be okay. She is a memory, if in some ways painful, she is still a beautiful memory and a sign of hope in my heart. So long as she's there, I know my heart hasn't blocked everything out completely.
Kadijih Elizabeth is what my first born daughter will be named. (Ka-Dee-Jah) Kadijih is the name of a religious figure's wife in the Baha'i faith. Elizabeth is, obviously, a more common name. Two of the best women I've ever known are named Elizabeth. Elizabeth Harmon, Elizabeth Files and my wonderful friend Beth Juliar have all been reasons for this middle name. They have been there for me in the darkest times, and, though each of them has been through some serious shit, they have come out amazing, beautiful and very strong (not to mention strong-willed) women. I can't imagine any other women I'd ever want to name my daughter after.
It will be a long time, I think, before I have children of my own.
I'm just grateful for the women in my life who have helped me learn what it is to grow up in the first place.
I love you guys.
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