Growth

I suppose it's a periodic thing at this point, but I'm going through one of my dark times, which, I can only hope, will end up with me learning some things about myself. I'm not sure what exactly the obstacle is right now, but I know my anxiety is surfacing in a new way. In the most positive of views, I think that maybe this is that last burst of the true problems with it, as I have definitely come a long way.
I've gotten side tracked, to some degree. I've lost focus.
My other half says I need a hobby, and I don't disagree. There are a lot of things I need to improve about myself, though. I wonder sometimes where the line is between a hobby that helps me and just plain ol' helpin me.
There's an article about an actress preparing to play the role of one of the Queens of England I stumbled across earlier. Amongst the points of the article, the actress mentions that the young princesses are usually sent to ballet classes to help them move gracefully. This reminded me of the concept of slowing down, and how much I'm reminded that it would probably serve to improve my quality of life greatly. And how much I agree. I don't relax well. I sure don't have an easy time moving/thinking/speaking slowly, either.
Then there's this article about Haiti and the children there. It's interesting to realize how far I've come, and how much I still think that my life doesn't really make that much difference in the world, even after so much change. I can't help but wonder if having a family is what I'm destined to do, or if this Army thing is even in the long-term Ultimate plan. There is plenty that is not within my view at this point, that's for sure, but I need to get my head together and come up with a plan that I will be happy with in the long-run.
Spiritually, there's still a lot I feel I have left to learn. I have a lot of spiritual studies I plan to do.
Relationship-wise, things are going well, but my feeling lost can't help my relationship.
I am grateful for The Royal Family, my people back home, my friends and all the people who've had my back lately. I have my difficult moments often enough that I am aware of them, but these people love me none the less.
I am looking forward to being home.