The Line In The Sand Blowing In The Wind

I need to be independent. I know this, without a doubt.
It's a fact of life in the military that couples will be seperated at times, married or not. There's just no avoiding it. It's this reason that I struggle with what I should be able to expect from my signifigant other when we actually are together. I struggle with the reason I even want a relationship with anyone if I'm going to have to do it all myself eventually anyway. I have plenty of people in my life who care about me, and there's not a doubt in my mind that I will always have someone there for me when I need them. There's no obvious needs I have that I don't know how to accomodate on my own at this point. Why involve someone else?
My heart and mind struggle with this frequently. Regardless of where my heart is, it's going to hurt sometimes. I know this, it's a fact of life. I can handle that. What I can't handle, what I can't understand to save my life, is why I feel the need to give someone else that much power over me. Why do I still want that? Why do I have my heart broken and still want to love and be loved? Why can't I be one of those people who are enough for themselves?
I'm so ashamed of feeling this way, but it's there, and I just can't deny it anymore. I don't know what I should be doing with all of this.