Surprise

Race is on my mind again.
I get the bizarre looks every other time I open my mouth: the new female in the unit is shocked that I speak the way I do, or that I don't segregate myself because I'm white, or because I listen to gospel as much as I listen to hip hop or country or soul. Honestly, lately, I've listened to gospel more than I've listened to anything else. "Open The Eyes Of My Heart" by Alan Jackson is my favorite, out of what I have on my iPod currently.
Sometimes the looks bug me, sometimes they don't, other times I'm proud to be outside the box people assume I must fit in.
I'm frustrated, though, with things I hear and see. I don't define this thing called racism very well, you see. We all have our pre-concieved notions based on what we know, I'm sure, but where does the line between true prejudice and mere pre-concieved notion fall?
Let me explain- someone who is prejudice is convinced, more or less past the point of any outside force being able to alter their point of view, that such a person will act a certain way, etc.
Someone who holds a pre-concieved notion, however, has had certain experiences, but is not beyond seeing that there can be exceptions or differences.
"All black men are thugs."
I've heard these words recently- I'm not about to call anyone out, but they got me thinking. These words were said by someone I really wouldn't have expected any form of prejudice from. I'm not entirely sure which side of the line my friend falls on after hearing these words, though I find, more often than not, when there's a question, I don't like the answer.
"Be careful what you wear down there in Georgia. There's an awful lot of uneducated black people there."
Those, without a doubt were racist words. Again, I won't call anyone out. However, both statements surprised me.
I suppose from all appearances, I'm an odd person to be talking about race or even prejudice. Skinny little white girl, raised by a lawyer and two nurses, seems unlikely I'd know. The tattoos, well, that just feeds into the 'white' stereo type, I think. I see the look in people's faces. I see the black mothers give me questioning or flat-out irritated looks when I smile at their child, as I would nearly any child.
I wonder, sometimes, if the fact that a 'white girl' is so entangled in this sort of thing emotionally is almost counter-productive, or perceived as disrespectful or ignorant by some people. No doubt there are plenty who have experienced more prejudice than I have. I don't intend to negate anyone's experiences or feelings, but there is so much about such things- on both sides, truthfully- that I simply do not understand.
So many of us feed into these stereotypes. So many of us don't take the small steps to change the perceptions that we could.
I wonder if I am making a difference, or if I'm just blowing hot air.

"I gave birth to one child, a son, but I have thousands of daughters. You are Black and White, Jewish and Muslim, Asian, Spanish-speaking, Native American and Aleut. You are fat and thin and pretty and plain; gay and straight, educated and unlettered, and I am speaking to you all. Here is my offering to you." -Maya Angelou