Process Of Elimination

Everything changed last night.
I've been told for as long as I can remember that the brain, when it's been through something traumatic, avoids being overwhelmed or breaking down by seperating things. It will push the hurtful things into another compartment, to be processed at a later time.
Last night, I realized I'd been doing that with the knowledge of other people's emotions.
I've been extremely sensitive to other people's emotions as long as I can remember.
Last night, I put his feelings, because they were negative, into the "Later" bin, because it hurt too much to process them at that point. He has no way to understand this, or comprehend it, nor does he care to. He's hurt, and that's all he's ready to handle. I can't blame him, but I also can't change anything to make this better.
I'm not a fan of admitting I'm wrong, but I did. I'm not a fan of apologizing, but I did.
All he could hear was that I knew what I was doing when I hurt him.
Now, there's nothing left.
It's back to dealing with things without expecting anyone to be there for me, which is probably for the best, but I won't get over this for a while. It's never been like this before... What a life.