Sturdy Boots

I'm still reeling a little bit from Ashton breaking up with me last night.
I'm not entirely sure how to take it all, but it was very 'it's not you, it's me' and 'we can be friends' in nature. Not a first, but nothing I even remotely saw coming from him. I really thought I'd found the one who'd stick around. My theory is no one can handle me more than a month. Few have managed. Last night, I was an absolute train wreck. Today, though, at least since about 0830 this morning (I've been up since 0430ish) I've been fine. I don't know why or how, but I'm grateful for it. I don't like the thought of being one of those ridiculous, sobbing, miserable little girls who's completely destroyed because a boy didn't step up to the plate the way she'd wanted. I'm better than that, regardless of who does or doesn't see that. I'm tired of people telling me they don't want to hurt me, when that's exactly what they're doing. I'm tired of people giving up on me. It would have been too easy to walk away from it all, because I knew I risked getting hurt. I'm stronger than that, though, and I believed in what we had, and in who he was. I don't believe in him any less, but there are some things that will never be the same after this. When someone gives you their heart, and they give it to you freely and in one peice, you don't have the option to give it back in the same condition they gave it to you. That isn't possible, and anyone who believes otherwise needs to rethink their method of handling relationships in general. They clearly are a bit confused about some things. I've had my heartbroken before, but I've always seen it coming. I suppose that's why I assumed I'd be more of a wreck than this. I've walked this road before, though, and, unfortunately, I may very well walk it again before I find the person I really am meant to settle down with. One of my many nicknames is Boots (long story) and, well, sturdy boots can make it down any road. I'm a gypsy by nature, a medic by trade, and a soldier at heart, and, no matter what it takes, I will make it through this, and anything else life throws at me. This will not be what kills me, I will die of something else!