Breathe.

It's a little after 11 pm here in Daegu, South Korea, and I'm finally winding down from a long couple days. Tomorrow will have it's rough spots, but it is the Friday of a short week. I am thankful. It has been non-stop all week long, and I am ready for my break. It wasn't until today, when I caught myself looking forward to my dentist appointment of all things, that I realized what a toll this week had taken. I've been pulling the weight of the entire clinic this week, and it's just too much. I love that I am this capable, but it is overwhelming, and not acceptable. I don't have the rank to be delegating, but it has come to the point where I have had to learn to tell people who outrank me that no, I will not be doing that, they will have to manage it on their own or deal with the fact that it is not going to happen. I have too much on my plate, and I refuse to let things keep piling up until I can no longer hold that plate. If I can't do it alone, they can't do it without me. I am so very grateful for my husband-to-be and for my friends and family. They are what keeps my light shining in the darkest moments. The wedding plans are coming along beautifully, and I can't explain how proud of Ryan I am as I watch him handle all of this. Having him in my life takes this weight off my shoulders that I didn't realize I was carrying. I truly did not understand how much the 'biological clock' thing was a subconcious reality for women- including me. It feels as though having a partner has taken so much pressure off, so much weight of what if's just gone. It's a beautiful feeling.
I find myself much more interested in less mainstream things lately. Yoga, correcting some of my oh-so-unhealthy eating habits to include more protein, GNC vitamins, and some other alternative type efforts to get myself back on track.
I decided I was going to go a week without wearing tight or restrictive clothing, like jeans.... This is harder than I thought.
More soon, when I'm not half asleep and rambling.
Hopefully.