This is a trying time for me.
Physically, I feel broken.
Emotionally, I feel tired.
I have never been more grateful for my true friends and for the man I am set to marry.
If it weren't for the people who have my back, I would not be handling things this well right now.
Hard work has never scared me, especially where my patients are concerned. My patients are the reason I do this job, and I am thankful for them.
However, the amount of last-minute changes and stressors in my life right now is compiling in a way I haven't seen before. I am responsible, but there is such a thing as in over one's head- and I am walking that line very, very carefully.
I am trying to take care of myself. I don't understand how so many people survive the do-more mentality that is this life. I have a number of things that I have simply not been doing because the amount of neccesary responsibilities I have creates such a vaccum that I don't seem to have the energy left at the end of the day. Sure, there's plenty I SHOULD be doing, but I can't bring myself to burn out again over things that don't matter.
A friend of mine brought up the idea of acupuncture. While it was almost a shock to have the suggestion come from that particular person (grumpy and set in his ways as he is), it was something I was a little surprised I hadn't thought of myself. I'm in South Korea. If this isn't a good place to look into holistic/Eastern medicine, I don't know what is. I've asked a friend with a Korean girlfriend to ask about any local, clean accupuncture shops.
I've been taking motrin, glucosamine chondroitin (think osteo biflex), vitamin C and my happy pill every day. I should not feel this miserable.
I am not letting whatever this deal is ruin me.
I'm not going to turn back into the person I finally got rid of.
I didn't like her, and she's not coming back.
It may be a struggle, but it's not one I'm willing to lose.
I've come too damn far to fall back now.
If anyone is curious about the title of this blog, it's actually also the title of my favorite hymn. Before I get a dozen comments saying 'I thought you weren't Christian?'- I'm not.
If I have to pick a brand of faith, it will be Baha'i, however, I still do not feel the need to cling to a name to prove my belief.
I have faith, and a relationship with my creator.
...But that's another blog all together.
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