A Lesson From Each Love Lost

I wasn't in love with him.
No, it wasn't love, but I suppose knowing that brings me to question the times I've called what I felt love, too.
I don't know why that word comes so easily to my lips. I feel too much, just as I always have. I don't suppose that will ever change.
It was supposed to happen the way it did. Why? I don't know. Maybe I don't want to know.
I just know it was supposed to happen that way, feel that way, and end that way- no matter how much it's vibrations hurt in the afterglow.
He's the only man that's ever treated me the way I want to be treated, the only man who's ever made me feel the way I wanted to feel. I've never felt so free, so calm, so peaceful, like I had everything to give the world...
I don't know how to explain it, I just know I want it back. It's not mine, though, and that's something that won't change.
So, I move on, I start again, just like I always have... only this time, I know what it is I'm chasing, even if I can't quite get it in my sights. I know what it is to be cared for, to not feel like I've settled, to just be happy.
If you're reading this, I love you like family, like I should have from the beginning. I will always have your back. I hope we meet again in a better place and time. Most of all, thank you for teaching me what I needed so much to learn, and for speaking the words I needed to hear most.
You gave me what I needed, not what I asked for.