Love Will Set Me Free ((I Forgive You))

It doesn't surprise me when he gets defensive or angry anymore- it's who he is.
It surprised me that his words hurt me so much.
He'll never apologize, because he's really not at a point in his life where he can see his own part in someone else's feelings. He doesn't understand the emotional side of consequences. I thought I'd let him go when I realized that. After our argument today, though, I realize I hadn't quite let him go, because he was still very much able to hurt me. I am unhappy with myself for that, but it's a fact, none the less.
I am forgiving him. I loved him, truly, and maybe I wasn't as strong as I wish I'd been, but what's meant to be finds a way- I believe that in my heart- and this, well, wasn't meant to be. He liked to say there was only one King- the nickname I'd given him- and that's true. There will never be another King in any relationship I have. I never really liked the idea of monarchies much, anyway. I'd rather be a member of a team than living under a monarchy. Perhaps the nickname was more appropriate than I'd realized.
None the less, I see where I made less than great choices. I see more of what I need, more of what I need to avoid and more of who I am when my heart gets involved. Never again will I try to show someone how to believe- that's not a lesson that can be taught by another person. I have faith so strong... I believe so much, so truly and so fully... I can't relate to someone who doesn't understand what it is to put your trust in God that everything will be alright. I don't always do so good at it- I get pretty stressed out- but my heart always knows that there is a plan, and this, too, shall pass. This heartbreak will pass.
It bothers me to know someone told him lies about me, and some part of me wants to know who and why. Truth is, no amount of knowledge will make this situation any different: we can say we're friends, but we aren't. We are hurt exes. We were both wounded by all we experienced, to what degree remains to be seen. We can swear to be there for one another, but we didn't trust each other when we were together, so we can't and won't trust each other now. I learned a lot, I don't regret it, and I do miss some parts of it... This was for the best, though.
Being faithful isn't always being true.
Being honest isn't always being open.
Being gentle isn't always being loving.
Being gone isn't always wrong.

Goodbye, and I forgive you.