Trust?

I have never opened up to anyone as quickly as I opened up to Smiley. Ever.
I guess it was a mistake.
I'll be there for him til the day I die, because I truly believe he has a great, beautiful heart. I won't, however, ever expect him to be there for me. He doesn't have the first clue how to be. I'm not easy to handle, I told him that, but he's much younger than I usually date, and I see now how much he has yet to learn about difficult women. I'll miss him.
Slim... still won't go away. He makes me so dang mad sometimes. What do you do with someone who pushes and pushes and refuses to walk away no matter what? What do you do with someone who understands that the thing you need the most is to be able to play like a kid? What do you do when you realize that this is someone who actually deserves a chance, even though you have no idea where to start? I don't know how to let him in again. After waiting for him to come back for 6 hrs, I gave up. I was hurt. I hate thinking about that night. He wasn't the reason I lost my cool tonight, but he was the last straw of hay that broke that camel's back. I had a meltdown. Granted, I desperately needed to let it all out, whether or not I realized that, but it didn't make it feel any more pleasant to be going through it.

It's just occurred to me that there are two questions that can be answered simultaneously: Why are women so complicated? and Why do women believe they are so much smarter than men?

Women don't stuff their feelings back or try to make them go away. We know we need to have them, and let them run their course, and most of the time, act on them. The complication part comes in when we need someone to remind us that we're allowed to have these feelings. Ever hear a woman tell her child or sister, friend, daughter, granddaughter, whoever to 'let it all out' or 'have a good cry'? Okay, I'm not cheesy enough to say these are things I say or anything, but they have a purpose. Women, if not everyone, occasionally needs to be reminded that it's alright to have these feelings, and there's nothing wrong with letting them out. It's healing.

Did it really have to take me a 3 hour meltdown to come around to this one conclusion???

Me n the Big Guy are going to have to talk about his way of getting things into my head....