Tough Girl (Go Away)

So, I was reading this article over at Yes Means Yes, and it caused a huge Eureka! moment for me. This article talks about girls self-depreciating and doing the ritualistic “I shouldn’t order the nachos…” bit at meals (it worries me that I’m so aware of this habit and never really thought about it) and why the confident, outgoing girl who refuses to participate in this is seen as a traitor of sorts. It makes sense, thinking about it- all women feel like their in competition with one another, which is something even the best of us have struggled with in some way- and those who refuse to put themselves in the competition are seen as thinking they are above the others, like there IS no competition for them.

The Eureka! part comes in about the time the article gets into women not apologizing for things not their fault- and EUREKA!- I refuse to do that BS! Wait a minute… That’s why I have a hard time with other females sometimes….! And then it really starts to sink in… All the effort I make to be a “sister” and not a competitor, and how so many females have forcefully rejected that offer. I try harder to be there for the females in my life (the accepting ones, anyway) than the males, simply because, well, the males aren’t competing with me. I don’t want to compete, unless we’re playing sports or something.

All of this gets wrapped up into things my Daddy and my brothers have told me about me being wild, strong, confident, all these words that I thought they were crazy for even thinking… I see it. I’m not sure it’ll stick, but the Eureka! of this article, well, I really hope it continues to resonate with me, and remind me when things get hard why I stand out. I don’t think I’m special because I don’t care what people think of me when I yell back at my brothers. I don’t think I’m special when I don’t back down no matter how many times I’m pushed, or when I push back harder than my brothers are willing to. Hell, I KNOW I’m going to get my butt kicked, they’re both bigger than me and have several years and plenty of fighting experience on me. It’s crazy to me that these are the things that make me different. These are just the things that, well, I don’t know how else to do them. I don’t back down- are you crazy? People that back down are the people that get walked on. THAT’S what makes me strong? Seriously?  Here I was trying to act more lady like, and now I see that, well, I wasn’t doing that badly for myself in the first place.

So, tough girl is here to stay….